Oh, tears

     As I was reading Megan's latest blog entries and listening to Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 In E Flat Major, a few tears ran down my face. I'm not sure if its because I can relate to some of the loneliness Megan described in her blog, or how she dislikes not doing anything, or being sick. Maybe its because listening to classical music reminds me of home and how I used to listen to it as I went to sleep every night or because I'm starting to get sick for the fourth time (yes, 4th!).  Or maybe because S. Vivian said that she considers Ashley and I a part of her family and because S. Mary Ruth said  that she treats Ashley and I as the blood sisters she never had. Or maybe it's a combination of all the above.
     Today, I helped S Rufina prepare dinner for tonight's celebration: S. Vivian and S. Mary Ruth's Birthday Party. I made a salad S. Rufina picked from a cookbook that S Mary Ruth got free at Cosco. It was a Walnut- Apple Spinach Salad. When I first saw the ingredients (spinach, walnuts, apples, olive oil, vinegar, mustard, sugar, salt, and pepper) I didn't think it was going to be a salad I was going to be eating; I've never been a fan of spinach or vinegar. But it was delicious! S. Rufina  made her amazing rice, steamed vegetables, grilled chicken with a special green sauce and baked a fruit cake. We prayed, ate, sang, and played games. In the end, S. Maria (the event planner in the monastery) asked S. Vivian and S. Mary Ruth to say a few "palabras de luz" (literally it means words of light, but basically to share a few things they are grateful for). S. Mary Ruth said that during mass she started to think about her two wonderful brothers and how God didn't give her a sister she could play with as a child, but that he had given her a community of Sisters she could live with. Then she added that that is why she is always joking with Ashley and I, because she sees us as her little sisters. S. Vivian said that going to the Holy Land gave her a lot of time to reflect and be grateful for everything she has and that she prayed for her community family, her blood family and Ashley and I because she considered us family too. After their little speeches, the rest of the Sisters gathered around them and blessed them both by lifting their hands above their heads and singing a song. I have to say that EVERY TIME the Sisters do this, I want to cry. I don't know why, but I do. I just get all teary and my eyes get filled with water and I'm scared of blinking because a tear might run down my cheek. Actually, I do know why I feel like this. I feel like this because I imagine myself being the one who is receiving the blessing in late May of 2011 and the Sisters are giving me their last blessing before leaving Puerto Rico and going back to Minnesota. Its amazing how far one's imagination can go if one doesn't control it. But in all honesty, I picture that. It's not that I want to leave or anything, but just thinking about how much the Sisters mean to me and how much I'm going to miss them that makes me want to cry. This little thought allows me to fall in love again with the Sisters and appreciate every single one for everything they have taught me, all the care they have given me, and the love they continuously show.  So by the time the blessing song is over, I'm happy again with my arms extended over the person who is actually being blessed and grateful that I am one of the people blessing her.
     As I mentioned above, I'm starting to catch a cold AGAIN. I've been taking vitamins, drinking Orange juice, taking Cold Snap when I feel the symptoms coming, I exercise, I eat right and I just don't know what else to do. I've been having a really bad tooth pain (wisdom tooth: top and bottom) that is quickly turning into sore tonsils  and cold. I'm trying to stay positive but it's getting a bit hard with this stuffy nose. But I'm not giving up.